I’ve been doing, or trying to do, youth ministry for over 20 years. One of the common and from time to time increasingly focused upon issues has been the self-esteem of youth. It is a commonly and long held belief that a high self -esteem will enable the future success of a young person. However, as with almost any good idea, self esteem becomes the goal of how we interact with, teach and equip our young people for life. The pursuit of a “healthy” self-esteem is, at its best, going to produce a faulty outcome, because it leads to a faulty end. (Before you get all freaked out and push or my demise, please read on.) My premise is taken purely from the Scriptures with no desire to demean or disregard the opinions of others.
Self-esteem is rooted in self; what self accomplishes, achieves, possesses, obtains or creates combined with how that is observed or valued by others. If what self does gains the approval of others then esteem of self is strengthened. If there is derision or rejection or devaluing of what self does by others then esteem of self is weakened. Life patterns are established not on value or love of self but on what we perceive gives us value in the eyes of others. But the opinions of people are fickle and what is valued today may be completely disregarded tomorrow. So any esteem of self that relies only on the whimsical fancies of others is not at all stable. The foundation for esteem of self is to recognize the esteem held for self by another. In other words, finding those who love and value us simply because we are alive that is who we ought to receive acceptance from. Basically it looks something like this: “But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” (Romans 5:8- NLT) God does not value us because you and I have it right or all together or tickle a momentary fancy. God loves us in spite of us
If self is able to produce so much good for itself with just the right motivation and input then why are we still trying to figure out new ways to make people feel good enough about themselves? True or not it is frightening to hear how some states may be passing kids from grade to grade in school even thought these students are not learning and operating at the necessary levels while regularly behaving horribly. And what does it say to young men and women who break rules and conduct themselves badly? They do not value themselves because those who should have loved them enough teach them respect for authority and right conduct didn’t. “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline Him.”(Proverbs 13:24 – NIV) Again we see just how much God loves us and values us by the fact that He, as a good Father, disciplines us for our good. “If God doesn’t discipline you as He does all of His children, ti means that you are illegitimate and are not really His children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the the Father of our spirits, and live forever?” (Hebrews 12:8-9 – NLT) When we realize that God loves us as we are but loves us too much to leave us as we are,we are onto something big.
As the Father loves us and disciplines us there is an end goal but it is far higher and for more valuable than an esteem of self built on self and the opinions of others. The end goal of this work is to make us into the image of the Lord Jesus.(Romans 8:29) To equip us with the ability to live a life of peace. (Hebrews 12:11) That we might be living displays giving forth proof of His love and grace.(Ephesians 2:4 – 7) And that we would not rely on self-esteem for our security and foundation for living, but wholly rely on the One who alone can do in us and through us what He has designed us for.(Ephesians 2:8 – 10) “It is God who enables us…” (2 Corinthians 1:21 – NLT) We do not need a “healthy self-esteem” built on false notions and weak efforts to make people feel better about themselves. We need to know the God who designed us, loves and has so much for us in His kingdom. When we gain that truth we will know just how precious and valuable we are to God and that is when we are enabled to really live.
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God Enables…
I’ve been doing, or trying to do, youth ministry for over 20 years. One of the common and from time to time increasingly focused upon issues has been the self-esteem of youth. It is a commonly and long held belief that a high self -esteem will enable the future success of a young person. However, as with almost any good idea, self esteem becomes the goal of how we interact with, teach and equip our young people for life. The pursuit of a “healthy” self-esteem is, at its best, going to produce a faulty outcome, because it leads to a faulty end. (Before you get all freaked out and push or my demise, please read on.) My premise is taken purely from the Scriptures with no desire to demean or disregard the opinions of others.
Self-esteem is rooted in self; what self accomplishes, achieves, possesses, obtains or creates combined with how that is observed or valued by others. If what self does gains the approval of others then esteem of self is strengthened. If there is derision or rejection or devaluing of what self does by others then esteem of self is weakened. Life patterns are established not on value or love of self but on what we perceive gives us value in the eyes of others. But the opinions of people are fickle and what is valued today may be completely disregarded tomorrow. So any esteem of self that relies only on the whimsical fancies of others is not at all stable. The foundation for esteem of self is to recognize the esteem held for self by another. In other words, finding those who love and value us simply because we are alive that is who we ought to receive acceptance from. Basically it looks something like this: “But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” (Romans 5:8- NLT) God does not value us because you and I have it right or all together or tickle a momentary fancy. God loves us in spite of us
If self is able to produce so much good for itself with just the right motivation and input then why are we still trying to figure out new ways to make people feel good enough about themselves? True or not it is frightening to hear how some states may be passing kids from grade to grade in school even thought these students are not learning and operating at the necessary levels while regularly behaving horribly. And what does it say to young men and women who break rules and conduct themselves badly? They do not value themselves because those who should have loved them enough teach them respect for authority and right conduct didn’t. “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline Him.”(Proverbs 13:24 – NIV) Again we see just how much God loves us and values us by the fact that He, as a good Father, disciplines us for our good. “If God doesn’t discipline you as He does all of His children, ti means that you are illegitimate and are not really His children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the the Father of our spirits, and live forever?” (Hebrews 12:8-9 – NLT) When we realize that God loves us as we are but loves us too much to leave us as we are,we are onto something big.
As the Father loves us and disciplines us there is an end goal but it is far higher and for more valuable than an esteem of self built on self and the opinions of others. The end goal of this work is to make us into the image of the Lord Jesus.(Romans 8:29) To equip us with the ability to live a life of peace. (Hebrews 12:11) That we might be living displays giving forth proof of His love and grace.(Ephesians 2:4 – 7) And that we would not rely on self-esteem for our security and foundation for living, but wholly rely on the One who alone can do in us and through us what He has designed us for.(Ephesians 2:8 – 10) “It is God who enables us…” (2 Corinthians 1:21 – NLT) We do not need a “healthy self-esteem” built on false notions and weak efforts to make people feel better about themselves. We need to know the God who designed us, loves and has so much for us in His kingdom. When we gain that truth we will know just how precious and valuable we are to God and that is when we are enabled to really live.
This entry was posted on 02/16/2009 at 4:41 pm and is filed under commentary. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.